


TJ Hammond Turns 40: “I’m NOT Gay!”

by vanillafluffy



Category: Political Animals
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Interviews, Other, Past Character Death, Past Drug Use, Same-Sex Marriage, Suicide Attempt, TJ Hammond is a Rock Star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 17:32:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2660498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where are they now? An interview with TJ Hammond, a decade post-series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	TJ Hammond Turns 40: “I’m NOT Gay!”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tigriswolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/gifts).



> By Susan Berg  
>  _TJ Hammond in his own words! The charming, articulate son of two US Presidents talks frankly about his childhood in the White House, political aspirations, sexuality and his troubled past._

**Berg: You’ve always been in the shadow of your famous parents and even your own twin brother when he became your mother’s Chief of Staff. Was that your choice, to fade into the background?**

TJH: Look at my family—my dad has a lot of personality, my mother is no shrinking violet, my brother takes after both of them and they’re all obsessed with politics—there are lots of heated discussions around the dinner table. Me, not so much. I’d rather play the piano. Music brings people together. 

**Berg: Your father Bud Hammond was President from the time you were 8 until you were 16. What stands out from those years?**

TJH: There’s a wonderful Steinway Grand in the East Room, and I’d sit and play for hours…the acoustics are great in there, and I loved the richness of the sound. When Mom moved in, one of the first things I did was go and get reacquainted with my old friend Liz.

**Berg: Liz?**

TJH: Inside joke. My dad invited Elizabeth Taylor to dinner at the White House shortly after he was elected the first time. After dinner, she played the Steinway and sang, mostly Rat Pack standards, but a couple bawdier songs, too. I thought she was gorgeous, and after that I called the piano ‘Liz’ in her honor.

**Berg: What’s your favorite memory of your mother’s presidency?**

TJH: I think it was really cool that the centennial of women’s suffrage occurred while she was President. Before that, women couldn’t vote, and it was a very controversial issue at the time. Now we’ve had a woman elected President—twice—and I think she’s done a remarkable job. Of course, I might be a little biased.

**Berg: With your mother coming to the end of her second term as President, is the Oval Office going to be passed to the next generation of Barrish-Hammonds?**

TJH: What? Did America become a monarchy while I wasn’t looking? I don’t think it works that way.

**Berg: Do you or your brother Douglas have plans to run for the Presidency?**

TJH: _I_ certainly don’t. You’d have to ask Doug about his plans…but if he does, I hope he’ll put it on hold for a few years. His kids are even younger than we were when Dad was in office, and that’s a very tough way to grow up.

**Berg: Do you blame your childhood in the White House for your later issues with substance abuse?**

TJH: Like I said, it wasn’t easy growing up under a microscope—and I’m genetically predisposed to be an addict. I started young, first because there was always alcohol available for entertaining at the White House, and I could sneak it without much trouble. Later when I went to boarding school, drugs were easy to get, and I did. Those were my bad choices, I don’t blame anyone but myself.

**Berg: Your father was President when you came out as gay at what, 15?**

TJH: I’m not gay. That’s a label, and I don’t think it’s an accurate one.

**Berg: Umm…you’re--?**

TJH: The word you’re looking for, Susan, is bisexual. Too many people think sexuality is an either/or thing, like a light switch. On or off, gay or straight…that’s very limiting. I think a better metaphor would be a dimmer switch, with a range of options. I’ve been with women from time to time for almost as long as I’ve been sexually active, and while it was a pleasant change of pace, that’s not my primary focus. To put it another way, I’d say I’m 85 percent gay, but the other 15 percent really appreciates ladies.

**Berg: But you’re married to another man.**

TJH: Yes, very happily for the last several years.

**Berg: But if you’re bisexual, how does that affect your relationship with your husband?**

TJH: It doesn’t. I’m monogamous.

**Berg: But if you’re monogamous with a male partner, how does that make you not gay?**

TJH: If I was a bisexual man married to a woman, would that automatically make me straight? No. That’s labeling again. Monogamy isn’t about orientation, it’s about your commitment to each other. If anything, being bisexual makes it more of a challenge, because there are that many more opportunities for temptation.

To return to your original question, yes, I was 15 when I was outed. It was during my dad’s second term, I was at boarding school, and there was an uproar because I was ‘caught’ making out with another 15-year old. If I’d been any other kid, it would have been waved off as boys will be boys, but because my dad was the President, all hell broke loose and it was ‘Ready or not, here I come...out’. It was terrifying. 

And before you ask, yes, it did contribute to me self-medicating, trying to center myself. It’s tough enough dealing with sex at that age, regardless of orientation, without the world looking over your shoulder. You kiss a guy goodnight and it winds up on Page Six, you wonder if people like you, or if you’re an ego-trip for them, and you’re always worried that someone’s going to tell all about it when the relationship ends. 

**Berg: You’re turning 40 this year. From this vantage point, how does it feel looking back at your 20s?**

TJH: My 20s were wretched. What I’d always wanted, growing up, was to be a concert pianist—I’ve played since I could reach the keyboard, even before the White House—but at the age when I should have been giving concerts or entering competitions, the Secret Service discouraged that for logistical reasons. Which I understand better now than I did then, but at the time, it was just one more reason to be miserable. And then, by the time my father was out of the White House, I was off the rails. 

**Berg: When you say off the rails—**

TJH: I mean I spent most of that decade wasted. I got detoxed a couple times, but it didn’t take. I came into a trust fund at 25, and most of it went up my nose. The rest of it bought my townhouse, which should give you an idea of how trashed I was.

**Berg: And the reports that you attempted suicide?**

TBH: (long pause) Are true. I was dumped by someone I cared about, and I couldn’t handle it. At the time, it felt like the end of the world, and I reacted accordingly. I was very, very lucky that my mom found me. She discovered me passed out in my car in the garage with the motor running. She saved my life, and I’m really grateful to her for that.

**Berg: Was that the incident that was reported as an allergic reaction to a prescription medication?**

TJH: No, that so-called allergic reaction was an accidental cocaine overdose, nothing prescribed about it—that time, it was my dad who found me unconscious and got me to the hospital. I put my family through hell…I was just so wrapped up in my own pity-party that I didn’t realize it at the time.

**Berg: You seem to have your life together now. How did that come about?**

TJH: After the overdose, I went to an in-patient facility for a while, and when I got out, my therapist told me to go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. And surprisingly, after god knows how much my folks spent on hospitals and headshrinkers, _that_ was what finally helped. It was really leveling to hear that I had the same disease as a lot of other people, people who didn’t have all the advantages I’d had, people who didn’t think I was special because of who my parents were—I was just another addict, and they called me on my bullshit. That was about the time my mom announced her candidacy—that and the campaign were incredibly stressful, and having a sponsor to vent to was crucial for getting me though it. 

**Berg: Wasn’t that also when you went into business for yourself?**

TJH: Not quite. I was 32, and I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Classic Peter Pan syndrome. After the election, my sponsor told me I needed to ‘find my bliss’—which I thought was very hippy-dippy. Then I was doing some Christmas shopping at Colonnade Pavilion, and wandered into a piano showroom. I started playing on a floor model, and ended up spending the next few weeks banging out holiday music for shoppers and donating my tips to AMFAR. Not long after that, the owner wanted to retire, and I bought the business, which I love.

**Berg: And there’s your foundation, America Singing, the after-school program which offers musical education and scholarships to young people.**

TJH: That’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever been a part of. In the beginning, our goal was to expose children to varieties of music they might not have heard in their daily lives, and it’s grown so much bigger than that that I’m humbled. One of our earliest protégés is in medical school now, and wants to be a neurologist. She got interested in the subject when she did a science project on how the two hemispheres of the brain work when reading sheet music and using both hands to play the piano. It blows me away, that she’s absorbed what we were able to give her, and built on it in such a terrific way. 

So many school districts have cut music programs for budgetary reasons, but somehow, they find money to fund athletic programs. I’m not denigrating sports, but not everyone is athletically gifted. Finding, nurturing and rewarding musical talent provides opportunities for enrichment that are every bit as valid as athletics. Music and sports both require discipline, which is a valuable life skill, and whether or not a student goes on to a career in music, it helps instill focus and coordination and imagination. 

**Berg: Last question—if you could live your life over, knowing what you do now, what would you do differently?**

TJH: (longer pause) I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’ll stick with what I have. Some of those years were very painful, but I’m in a really good place right now, and it’s a result of everything I’ve been through. One thing I realized when I was campaigning for my mom is that I _hate_ touring. I wouldn’t have been happy if I'd gotten what I thought I wanted—I’d’ve burned out being a concert pianist, and if I had gone down that road, either I’d have cirrhosis of the liver today, or I would’ve OD’ed in a hotel room somewhere and be a sad statistic. As it is, I’m happily married, I have work I love—I wouldn’t want my life to be any different.

**Author's Note:**

> SUSAN BERG is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist with the Washington Globe and the author of _An Interrupted Legacy: The Life and Death of President Paul Garcetti_.


End file.
